Re-Enchantment, A Half Year In

At the beginning of January, I wrote a couple of blog posts - Re-Enchanting Life, the Universe, and Everything and Dear 2024 - both of which grappled with my existential and personal anxieties about, well, just about everything. 

I have an update for you - not much has changed. 

I always have grand hopes when I set out intentions at the beginning of January that by July, I will most definitely have made positive progress and dynamic changes to my life. Much to my frustration, that is rarely the case. 

For example, I literally tried to sit in the corner of my office to attempt to ‘meditate’ for a few minutes just now and failed. Miserably. I put on some meditative music, made myself comfortable, and then thought I heard a kid having a meltdown outside. Was that hiding behind the meditation music? I paused the playlist to listen. No, it was coming from somewhere else. Was one of my kids watching something in their rooms? I put my ear to the floor to listen (my eldest’s bedroom is right below my office)... Nothing. I strained to listen to see if it was my youngest (who’s room is right beside my office)... Nope. Not there either. It must be outside. Put the music back on. Breathe. Stare into the candle you put on the floor. Gosh, that seems precarious. If that tips over, it’ll light my whole rug on fire. No, it’s fine. The only way that could happen is if you knock it over and you’re supposed to be sitting still here. Maybe I should’ve lit some incense. No, this room is too small, the smell would overwhelm you. Ugh. My heartburn has been bad the last few days. I’m not sure this music is doing it for me. Let’s try changing the playlist. Nope, that’s not it either. Forget this. I’m going to get up and work because I need to DO SOMETHING.

And then a car alarm started going off outside. 

Sigh.

They say disappointment is the place that lives between expectations and reality. If my expectation was that I would have mastered the art of re-enchanting my life by now, the reality is that my intention didn’t make dis-enchantments stop in their tracks.

I wasn’t wrong in January when I predicted this would be a hard year. Since then, I have had several meltdowns about the state of my personal and our business finances, my husband unexpectedly had to change jobs, we got into a car accident on the way to my oldest’s volleyball tournament (in which he happened to be driving at the time), totalling our car, and there’s been a cancer diagnosis in my family. In the meantime, perimenopause continues to wreak havoc on my body and brain, the environment continues to collapse, wars continue to rage, and global election cycles continue to be both contentious and often violent. 

Is it any wonder re-enchantment feels elusive at best and impossible at worst?

It’s funny. Sometimes I feel like because I am co-owner of this business, I have to somehow have gotten through all the things so I can give you a neat list of “Five Things That Helped me Re-Enchant My Life” like some shiny, happy influencer. Instead, every time I write, it just seems like me belly-aching about how messed up everything is. Apparently, I’m only inspired to write when I’m struggling or feeling anxious.

Granted, it hasn’t all been awful. There have been lots of moments of brightness, joy, surprise, and positivity. My husband’s job change ended up being a really good thing. Our car accident was relatively minor. The cancer is treatable. Some contentious elections didn’t result in fascist-leaning regimes. Our How to Hold Space programs graduated some amazingly beautiful and gifted participants (once again!). I didn’t knock over my candle and set my carpet on fire…

But maybe this has some value too - even if it’s just to normalize that struggling or feeling anxious about the state of the world isn’t just a you thing. You’re not losing it or failing at seeing the positive - life is hard right now for so many people in so many varied, personal and collective ways. 

I mentioned in my “Dear 2024” post in January that what I really wanted was joy and that joy was a conjoined twin with grief. I think I have accepted that truth, but perhaps that lesson applies to re-enchantment as well: It isn’t so much the opposite of disenchantment as it is it’s conjoined twin. They exist in that both/and space. I can acknowledge that I am frustrated and fed up with patriarchal capitalism AND also offer the beauty of our programs to the world. I can weep over the state of the environment AND also marvel over the rainbow that erupted right over top of a storm cloud still flashing lighting (and check out how awesome my clematis looks this year!).

I can despair over the rising fascist leanings of much of the world AND also be cautiously optimistic about many of my current provincial government’s efforts to introduce more humane legislation. I can worry about filling up our programs for the fall AND look back and marvel at how many amazing people have come through our programs and helped meet our needs over the last four years. 

I keep thinking of Mary Oliver’s poem, Don’t Hesitate…

Don’t Hesitate
by Mary Oliver

If you suddenly and unexpectedly feel joy,
don’t hesitate. Give in to it. There are plenty
of lives and whole towns destroyed or about
to be. We are not wise, and not very often
kind. And much can never be redeemed.
Still, life has some possibility left. Perhaps this
is its way of fighting back, that sometimes
something happens better than all the riches
or power in the world. It could be anything,
but very likely you notice it in the instant
when love begins. Anyway, that’s often the
case. Anyway, whatever it is, don’t be afraid
of its plenty. Joy is not made to be a crumb.

It is decidedly not comfortable living in this both/and space. My brain and my nervous system desperately want binaries and black-and-whites to cling to. But that’s not how life has ever worked, has it? 

This is the part where I tell you that our programs can help give you the tools to live in this both/and space and you roll your eyes because you knew this bit was coming and we both chuckle because we know that this plug has to come because capitalism insists that we need this stupid thing called money to live. 

I’m trying to think of these plugs and marketing efforts as birdseed. We have a thing. Here it is in our little bird feeder. Perhaps it is something you need or are interested in. If not, that’s okay. Our birdseed isn’t for everyone, obviously. But perhaps it is what you need. At any rate, it wouldn’t benefit either of us for me to not put birdseed in the bird feeder, so here it it all is:

If you’re looking to dig more into Holding Space for yourself, here are some of your best options:

• Time to Do the Brave Thing with Heather Plett - we have recently had a space open up in this, so if you’ve been hemming and hawing about having a space to grow your courage to do THE THING, get your application in ASAP. We start July 31!

• Holding Space Coaching - Heather still has room for more one-on-one coaching clients AND we also have two amazing coaches you can work with in addition to Heather: Master Holding Space Practitioners Emily Gillies and Lucy Karnani. Both are skilled space holders and coaches and we are delighted to have them on our team.

If you’re looking to dig more into Holding Space for others, here are your best options:

• Not the Main Character - I am excited to crack open Holding Space from the point of view of the support person (or guardian, if you’re familiar with Circle Way language). Not all of us want or need to be the hero of every story. Join me for a deep-dive into life as a spectacular leader-from-beside!

• How to Hold Space Foundation Program - This, of course, is our main work. This program has seen hundreds of people from dozens of countries and continues to amaze us with how much it resonates with people. We really believe that learning to Hold Space can truly start to change the world - not overnight (because the world doesn’t work like that), but definitely in the long term. We would love to have you join us for a single module, or for all five. Scholarships (of up to 50% off the course) are available.

• How to Hold Space Certification Program - This program is for folks who have already taken our Foundation Program and want to go deeper to learn how to actually put the tools of Holding Space into practice. Oh, and often find an amazing community in the process! 

I’d love to hear about your both/and year, too. Feel welcome to add your stories to the comments below. We can work on normalizing the brutiful life we’ve been given together. 

Oh and by the way: I love you. You look great today. 🙂