Thank you Heather, I love reading your posts and yes, your words help me to understand myself, so much. Your words fill a void in the world and I am grateful for your courage to articulate your vulnerability and tenderness. I am now subscribed and hope that this small contribution can support you and your work in some way.
Hello Heather - I usually feel inundated with posts and newsletters I want to read and don't read any of them, but today I heard this one. And the few times I've read your posts, they've always stayed with me. There was one in which you had the metaphor of a velcro dress and I come back to that and refer to it so often. Thank you for sharing yourself so fully. I receive you with an open tender heart.
Thank you! If the girl in the velcro dress felt meaningful for you, you might like to read my new book, Where Tenderness Lives. I expanded that metaphor and used it as the prologue and epilogue of that book.
Heather, please know that your openness and vulnerability have helped me and I assume a large number of people. I send you love, empathy and support, as well as a big virtual hug. I know these are just words, but the sentiment is here in my heart.
These words struck me in particular in your current post: "Instead, it’s about living in the complexity and messiness of life, learning to navigate liminality, being tender with your own brokenness, telling the truth about yourself, and building meaningful communities of care" Life is so fucking complex and difficult and beautiful. We get to this age and begin to realize how broken we are and have been for decades. In trying to heal, we break afresh, again and again, which is why (I assume) many don't even get to the healing stage as it is just too damn painful to keep going. I try to be tender and I have your beautiful book to help guide me through your experiences which are more profound to me than working with a therapist (and I have a good therapist). We are all broken. Only some of us really are beginning to understand how much and are trying to heal. As much as we wish everyone would do this for the benefit of all, this is a pipe dream and not reality. The hurt will continue. And we will continue to rise up through our own choices to learn and change and live authentically.
I send you love. I send you hope and fearlessness. I send you gratitude for sharing yourself so unabashedly... thank you. I call you friend and tribe - even as we have never met in person. You have shared your heart and all I feel is love because you have done so. Please feel this love and know your worth. A giant, gentle hug to you, my friend, Ellen
Heather, please add one more kindred spirit to the list of people who’ve read to the end:
“There’s a part of me that’s not certain that this post will ever see the light of day. Is it worth it? Is anybody listening? Does anyone pay attention to long posts like this anymore or am I simply whistling into the wind? Is there enough return on this immense investment I make again and again?”
I feel, as well as hear, the anguish in your heart. I have a mirroring personal experience with my daughter who seems very similar to you, with her big heart and big feelings. She left her career as a nurse and started a yoga studio in rural Iowa in 2018 - and then the pandemic hit. As you said, nothing is quite the same after as it was before. She and I have had many conversations similar to what you shared in your post.
I have no easy solutions for the Soul-Tenders when their nourishment and wisdom is not rewarded in our capitalist world. I just know this: whether you recognize it or not, you are making a difference in this world. And yes, you have bills to pay too, we understand this. But we want you to know that you are having an impact…one human, one soul, one spirit at a time. Please hang in there, we (and this world) needs your truth 💗
Thank you for being so real., Heather. This post encourages me to be real, vulnerable, honest about myself. In stead of painting the pretty picture and totally getting lost.
We look at a lot of pretty pictures nowadays, and it feeds many ego’s. Your sharing feeds the soul and the heart and makes a bigger connection. Thank you for being you.
I love your work so much. This post reached me today at a very hard point in my life, where I have no idea how to proceed into the unknown und uncertainty. I feel less alone now. Thank you.
Heather, thank you not only your vulnerability, and also your wisdom. I am only just now understanding the death of a dream. You are so helpful; I didn’t know what was going on with me, until I read this essay.
Gratitude for sharing your vulnerability from someone who listens to music, sees herself and her story, and cries. Also, mom to three, fiercely-loved, adult offspring.
So many and it depends on the particular challenge. My taste is eclectic. It includes Joni Mitchell, Carly Simon, Carol King (all remarkable women never given their proper credit in a male dominated field), Jon Secada, Josh Groban, John Tesh.
Most recently, Brandi Carlile, introduced to me by my youngest, we saw her in concert just last month. Her song, “most of all” summarizes my feelings as a parent …”give your love away.” And, far away my all-time favorite, Bruce Springsteen. So many songs from Born To Run, to the entire The Rising album which carried me through for a full year after the unexpected and untimely passing of my first husband in 2005. ❤️🩹
Thank you for keeping on. I read this, then subscribed and listened to it again. Like "Bitter Sweet" you share that reality and both books have impacted my life so deeply. Loved this sentence especially ; "Instead, it’s about living in the complexity and messiness of life, learning to navigate liminality, being tender with your own brokenness, telling the truth about yourself, and building meaningful communities of care. It’s about learning to be more human and accepting the humanity of others." This is how I am trying to live now.
I am listening. Your open heart and your ability to express it are rare gems that sustain me in these wild times. I found you in 2020 when Desiree Lynn Adaway named you as a white woman other white woman should be listening to. In your writing, I found my way back to myself. I used to write regularly until academia and children and the heaviness of the world made me lose my creative voice. But you, beloved stranger, have stirred something deep within. Your writing reminds me of who I am. Your writing calls to my heart and gives me courage to be my best vulnerable, creative self. You inspire me greatly. I know it doesn't pay the bills, but please know that you being you has deep impact that you can't see. It matters. And I am so deeply grateful for your vulnerability, your creative gifts, and your presence in the world. With love and deep respect,
Thank you so much! I'm delighted to hear that you came via my dear friend Desiree. I hear you about the heaviness making you lose your creative voice, but I think that's such a loss and I hope you find your way back. The world absolutely needs our big open hearts to create beautiful things.
Your latest book is amazing and is currently sitting on my bedside table - i love your writing and your vulnerability - you will reach so many people that you don’t even know about - may strength and tenderness carry you x
Thank you Heather, I love reading your posts and yes, your words help me to understand myself, so much. Your words fill a void in the world and I am grateful for your courage to articulate your vulnerability and tenderness. I am now subscribed and hope that this small contribution can support you and your work in some way.
Hello Heather - I usually feel inundated with posts and newsletters I want to read and don't read any of them, but today I heard this one. And the few times I've read your posts, they've always stayed with me. There was one in which you had the metaphor of a velcro dress and I come back to that and refer to it so often. Thank you for sharing yourself so fully. I receive you with an open tender heart.
Thank you! If the girl in the velcro dress felt meaningful for you, you might like to read my new book, Where Tenderness Lives. I expanded that metaphor and used it as the prologue and epilogue of that book.
Wonderful. I plan to listen to it on my vacation coming up shortly!
Brava to you Heather! It’s not easy to put yourself out there and feel all the feels deeply too. That is a life, richly lived. 🩵
Thank you for this beautiful essay. Would you consider sharing your playlist?
Do you use Apple Music? If so, try this link: https://music.apple.com/ca/playlist/nothing-stays-the-same/pl.u-2aoqXYYtNR7V1r
Heather, please know that your openness and vulnerability have helped me and I assume a large number of people. I send you love, empathy and support, as well as a big virtual hug. I know these are just words, but the sentiment is here in my heart.
These words struck me in particular in your current post: "Instead, it’s about living in the complexity and messiness of life, learning to navigate liminality, being tender with your own brokenness, telling the truth about yourself, and building meaningful communities of care" Life is so fucking complex and difficult and beautiful. We get to this age and begin to realize how broken we are and have been for decades. In trying to heal, we break afresh, again and again, which is why (I assume) many don't even get to the healing stage as it is just too damn painful to keep going. I try to be tender and I have your beautiful book to help guide me through your experiences which are more profound to me than working with a therapist (and I have a good therapist). We are all broken. Only some of us really are beginning to understand how much and are trying to heal. As much as we wish everyone would do this for the benefit of all, this is a pipe dream and not reality. The hurt will continue. And we will continue to rise up through our own choices to learn and change and live authentically.
I send you love. I send you hope and fearlessness. I send you gratitude for sharing yourself so unabashedly... thank you. I call you friend and tribe - even as we have never met in person. You have shared your heart and all I feel is love because you have done so. Please feel this love and know your worth. A giant, gentle hug to you, my friend, Ellen
Thank you for your beautiful words Ellen. They lift my spirits. Yes, we are on this complex, beautiful, messy path together. ♥️
Oh Heather!
Heather, please add one more kindred spirit to the list of people who’ve read to the end:
“There’s a part of me that’s not certain that this post will ever see the light of day. Is it worth it? Is anybody listening? Does anyone pay attention to long posts like this anymore or am I simply whistling into the wind? Is there enough return on this immense investment I make again and again?”
I feel, as well as hear, the anguish in your heart. I have a mirroring personal experience with my daughter who seems very similar to you, with her big heart and big feelings. She left her career as a nurse and started a yoga studio in rural Iowa in 2018 - and then the pandemic hit. As you said, nothing is quite the same after as it was before. She and I have had many conversations similar to what you shared in your post.
I have no easy solutions for the Soul-Tenders when their nourishment and wisdom is not rewarded in our capitalist world. I just know this: whether you recognize it or not, you are making a difference in this world. And yes, you have bills to pay too, we understand this. But we want you to know that you are having an impact…one human, one soul, one spirit at a time. Please hang in there, we (and this world) needs your truth 💗
Thank you. It’s hard to make a living doing this work of our hearts, but I have absolutely no doubt that it’s the work that needs to be done. ♥️
Thank you for being so real., Heather. This post encourages me to be real, vulnerable, honest about myself. In stead of painting the pretty picture and totally getting lost.
We look at a lot of pretty pictures nowadays, and it feeds many ego’s. Your sharing feeds the soul and the heart and makes a bigger connection. Thank you for being you.
Thank you for your kind words. ♥️
I love your work so much. This post reached me today at a very hard point in my life, where I have no idea how to proceed into the unknown und uncertainty. I feel less alone now. Thank you.
Thank you. I'm glad that it helped you feel less alone. I wish you well in your liminal space.
Heather, thank you not only your vulnerability, and also your wisdom. I am only just now understanding the death of a dream. You are so helpful; I didn’t know what was going on with me, until I read this essay.
Please don’t stop telling and sharing the truth.
Thank you. I'm sending you love and encouragement as you grieve the death of your dream.
Gratitude for sharing your vulnerability from someone who listens to music, sees herself and her story, and cries. Also, mom to three, fiercely-loved, adult offspring.
Thank you. What music helps you get through the hart times? I'm always interested in adding to my playlists!
So many and it depends on the particular challenge. My taste is eclectic. It includes Joni Mitchell, Carly Simon, Carol King (all remarkable women never given their proper credit in a male dominated field), Jon Secada, Josh Groban, John Tesh.
Most recently, Brandi Carlile, introduced to me by my youngest, we saw her in concert just last month. Her song, “most of all” summarizes my feelings as a parent …”give your love away.” And, far away my all-time favorite, Bruce Springsteen. So many songs from Born To Run, to the entire The Rising album which carried me through for a full year after the unexpected and untimely passing of my first husband in 2005. ❤️🩹
Thank you for keeping on. I read this, then subscribed and listened to it again. Like "Bitter Sweet" you share that reality and both books have impacted my life so deeply. Loved this sentence especially ; "Instead, it’s about living in the complexity and messiness of life, learning to navigate liminality, being tender with your own brokenness, telling the truth about yourself, and building meaningful communities of care. It’s about learning to be more human and accepting the humanity of others." This is how I am trying to live now.
Thank you. There is such a capacity to find kindred spirits when we all admit we're feeling a little lost and alone in that complexity and messiness.
I am listening. Your open heart and your ability to express it are rare gems that sustain me in these wild times. I found you in 2020 when Desiree Lynn Adaway named you as a white woman other white woman should be listening to. In your writing, I found my way back to myself. I used to write regularly until academia and children and the heaviness of the world made me lose my creative voice. But you, beloved stranger, have stirred something deep within. Your writing reminds me of who I am. Your writing calls to my heart and gives me courage to be my best vulnerable, creative self. You inspire me greatly. I know it doesn't pay the bills, but please know that you being you has deep impact that you can't see. It matters. And I am so deeply grateful for your vulnerability, your creative gifts, and your presence in the world. With love and deep respect,
Jen from Philly
Thank you so much! I'm delighted to hear that you came via my dear friend Desiree. I hear you about the heaviness making you lose your creative voice, but I think that's such a loss and I hope you find your way back. The world absolutely needs our big open hearts to create beautiful things.
Your latest book is amazing and is currently sitting on my bedside table - i love your writing and your vulnerability - you will reach so many people that you don’t even know about - may strength and tenderness carry you x
Thank you! I'm so glad it has reached your bedside table and that it's meaningful to you. :)
I hear you. Don’t stop. 🙏
I won't. They'll have to take the pen or laptop out of my cold dead hands. :)
I wish I knew what to say. You and your work have been and are so important to so many people. Keep going. ❤️
Thank you, friend. You, more than most, know how long I've been at this, doing my best to keep showing up.